Looking Back: Pre-Parenthood

It was a year ago this month that my husband and I found out our adoption dreams were coming true; we'd been matched with a birth mother! With one phone call, we went from hopeful-wanna-be-parents, to pre-parents (and the switch was dizzying). It was all so overwhelming. Despite the two-and-a-half years we’d been trying to become parents (not consistently, but with periodic bursts of frenzy), it all really happened with lightening speed. We got the email from the adoption facilitator on a Friday, asking that we apply by Saturday if we were interested in a certain child. The following Wednesday, as we were having dinner, the facilitator called and left us a message. Because of the configuration of our house, we couldn't hear the phone if we were downstairs (we finally fixed that).

We had been discussing vacation plans during dinner; we wanted to go to Oman for a few days, and we were saying that it would be best to do this in January since we'd applied on a child expected in February. As I came upstairs, my husband was standing at the top there holding the phone. “I guess you better start planning that trip to Oman,” he said with a big grin. I think my mouth fell open and my heart dropped, I knew we’d gotten the baby! I just started crying, even before hearing the message. But hearing the message just further increased the torrent and the shaking. Our dreams were coming true!

We immediately called the facilitator back to formally accept and she walked us through some of the coming logistics. Then she asked if we wanted to try to speak with the birth mother and we said yes, so she was able to conference us all together. It wasn’t a long conversation, but we thanked her (I’d stopped sobbing by this point) and talked a bit about Kuwait and Maryland and other places we'd lived.

My husband and I then spent the next few hours calling all the new aunts and uncles and grandparents-to-be (proper titles are still being discussed). Emotions were high, we were excited, over-the-moon, and terrified all at once.

It was after two a.m. when we finally turned the lights out. As we lay in the dark, both caught up in our own thoughts, I heard my husband mutter, “I wonder if the baby will come with a 2.0 USB hub or a 3.0”. He simply must read those parenting books!