The Exceptional Husband

My husband is exceptional. He’s not exceptional because he comes home most nights and helps put the kids to bed.

He’s not exceptional because he does everything from wiping noses to butts and everything in between.

He’s not exceptional because he can comb out tangles without a tear.

He’s not exceptional because he knows the right dress can make a toddler happy; and the wrong dress can make everyone unhappy.

He’s not exceptional because he can turn eating hummus sandwiches into a song.

He’s not exceptional because he can play hide and go seek with toddlers who don’t understand the rules.

He’s not exceptional because he will take a day off from work to help with the kids when I’m too sick.

He’s not exceptional because he figured out how to make mac-and-cheese on his own in the Instant Pot.

He’s not exceptional because he will grab a random two-year-old for an errand and bring them home covered in chocolate.

He’s not exceptional because he gets the kids to eat beans and spinach by offering to feel their muscles with great fanfare.

He’s not exceptional because he decorates cookies like a four-year-old.

He’s not exceptional because he encourages me to go to a random book club or moms night out.

He’s not exceptional because he will play tea party (even though he orders cappuccinos).

He’s not exceptional because he exposes the kids to multiple languages believing that two-year-olds can handle it.

He’s not exceptional because he will play “hop on pop” to the children’s great delight.

He’s not exceptional because he will initiate bath time times three.

He’s not exceptional because he changes the words to “Row Row” every time causing great giggles in everyone.

He’s not exceptional because he will take the four-year-old out to the grocery store at night and stop for ice cream on the way home.

He’s not exceptional because he’s willing to learn the different princess names… sort of.

He’s not exceptional because he wants the floors and walls covered in pillows to prevent ouchies.

He’s not exceptional because he put together three identical balance bikes before Christmas.

He’s not exceptional because he packs school lunches with salad greens.

He’s not exceptional because he has instilled the desire to brush teeth every night in order to show off one’s “movie star teeth.”

He’s not exceptional because he makes phonics a pure joy for our four-year-old.

He’s not exceptional because he lets me exercise as soon as two out of the three kids are in bed.

He’s not exceptional because he knows all the words to “Baa Baa Black Sheep,” “Campfire’s Burning,” and “Kookaburra” (if not the tunes).

He’s not exceptional because he validates the difficulty of parenting when he asks me, “How do you do this every day!?” after spending two days with the kids.

He’s not even exceptional because he still suggests I go away for two nights to a hotel to relax and write.

None of these make him exceptional; they make him a dad. (A great dad, but still just a dad.)

He’s an exceptional husband because he supports me in my endeavor to re-find myself. And I truly feel he believes in me. This makes him beyond exceptional and something to be grateful for every day.

58 Steps to Make “Quick” Santa Cookies

No school. Gotta fill the days. Let’s make cookies!

Step 1: Find “quick, easy, no-fridge, sugar cookie” recipe on Pinterest.

2. Pull out bowls.

3. Suddenly remember we don’t have any aquafaba (chickpea juice) left over after hubby accidentally broke the glass jar last weekend.

4. Pull out can of chickpeas. Spend 3 minutes unwrapping four cans I bought on sale that were sealed together with packing tape.

5. Open can, drain liquid, put chickpeas into pyrex bowl; spend 2 minutes finding compatible lid.

6. Go retrieve small table from playroom and tell kids we’re going to make cookies. (Big mistake.)

7. Tell kids to go away until I’m ready. Repeatedly asked by 4yo, “What’s prepping mean?”

8. Spend 4 minutes looking for kids’ aprons.

9. Remember I hadn’t fed kitten yet; find kitten food.

10. Spend 6 minutes keeping big cats away while kitten eats crunchies.

11. Pull out kitchen scale, get butter.

12. Google how much 1C butter weighs in ounces (8oz, duh).

13. Weigh block of butter; only 5.64 ounces.

14. Get more butter from fridge, start slicing off frozen chunks until read 8.01 ounces. Done!

15. Melt butter slightly in microwave; 33 seconds.

16. Add sugar to bowl with butter.

17. Find beaters for hand mixer.

18. Spend 2 minutes searching for hand mixer.

19. Beat butter and sugar.

20. Add aquafaba and vanilla. Beat more.

21. Find second bowl I’d lost on counter; add flour, baking powder, mix quickly.

22. Tell 4yo I’m almost done “prepping.”

23. Combine dry ingredients with wet, beat quickly.

24. Succumb to three munchkins invading kitchen. Gather three aprons, assure 4yo that she’s wearing “hers”.

25. Dig out box of cookie cutters. Let munchkins pick out “a few” (or twenty).

26. Have nanny help “flour” the small table.

27. While nanny rolls out dough, I gather camera to document this wondrous event.

28. Let everyone randomly use cookie cutters; randomness cannot be overstated.

29. Allow munchkins to have their first taste of raw cookie dough. It’s a hit!

30. Tell them to stop eating the raw cookie dough; repeat.

31. Tell 2yo to stop hitting his sisters with the spatula.

32. Shoo kitten away from the table.

33. Allow each munchkin to “use” the rolling pin; watch for sudden movements.

34. Just a mere 33 minutes later, cookies are on trays ready to go into oven.

35. Preheat oven.

36. Wait 6 minutes; clean up the flour-bomb residue.

37. Oven beeps, put cookies in. Assure munchkins they can decorate (and eat) later today.

38. 17 minutes later, hot cookies are cooling.

39. 30 minutes later, return to kitchen to prep icing.

40. Use a bag and a half of powdered sugar and more aquafaba; stir, stir, stir.

41. Add in splash of vanilla; repeat stirring.

42. Dig out 8-year-old colored sugar and 1-year-old sprinkles and food coloring.

43. Separate out icing into three bowls; create pale green, pale red (i.e., pink), and white.

44. Note need more (and newer) food coloring.

45. Put red sugar, green sugar, Christmas sprinkles, and M&Ms into individual bowls and put on small table.

46. Retrieve aprons and call in the munchkins; get them prepped.

47. Quickly ice cookies randomly and pass off to the table.

48. Let candy-coated chaos ensue.

49. Turn around to see 2yo piling 15 M&Ms on an “ornament” cookie.

50. Find 4yo pouring a mound of red sugar on a “candy cane” cookie.

51. Find other 2yo eating as many M&Ms as he can.

52. Wrap up the sugar-sprinkle-bomb melee with final three cookies.

53. Reassure munchkins that after naptime we will pick out cookies to save for Santa, and then we can all try our sweet creations.

54. Spend 5 minutes pre-picking our favorite cookie to try later; pick them again.

55. Insist this is that last time we pick our favorite.

56. Spend 10 minutes putting all decorating paraphernalia back.

57. Thank nanny profusely for her patience and help.

58. Vow to do this again; in a year.

Jordan’s Desert Castles (Toddler Style)

Ever since arriving in Jordan, I have been hearing people talk about exploring the "Desert Castles" loop.  When I checked it out, it looked fabulous, but far more than our family of littles (with potty breaks, diaper needs, snack demands and nap requirements) could handle in a day.  So we've been breaking it up and hitting them at a more toddler-friendly pace.

We've now visited three of the northern/eastern castles in simple little day trips that just last a few hours.  However, if you're not constricted with toddler-needs, then you can definitely do all in a day, but you won’t have the fun of countless roadside potty breaks in the Jordanian countryside.

Our first trip was out to Hallabat (Hallibat) Castle (coordinates: 32°05′34.4″N 36°19′40.8″E), located between Zarqa and Azraq, to the northeast of Amman.  The drive out was uneventful, passing through little villages and towns.  And then suddenly we were there; and it was just us and the guards.  So we did a diaper check, got everyone their fill of crackers, and gathered them up and made the little trek over to the "castle".  

In truth, none of the "Desert Castles" are actually castles.  Some were hunting lodges, some were caravanserai (think travelers lodge and market), some farmhouses; all dating from around the seventh century Umayyad era.  However, as they were being re-discovered in the nineteenth century, archeologists called them "castles" and the term has stuck.  But true castle or not, they're worth the effort for weekend explorations.

The history of Hallabat can be traced back to remains uncovered of a second century Roman fort, on top of which was built a country palace in the sixth century, complete with mosaic floors (some of which you can still see today), a chapel and even a monastery.  These were built using black basalt, in contrast to the white limestone used during continued renovations in the seventh century.  

The site has undergone significant restoration from a Spanish archeological team; and their cranes and vehicles can be seen from miles away.  Despite one guidebook’s claims that it's one of the "most elaborate [and]... most satisfying" castles to explore, I felt it was one of the smaller sites.  But it does have an amazing view of the landscape, and part of the mosaic floor dating from 700AD can easily be seen, plus it's a place for the kids to run around.  And since there's never anyone else visiting these sites, after your explorations, you can have a nice leisurely parking lot picnic with falafel sandwiches from Al Osrah (or your restaurant of choice).  And as a bonus, we saw a lovely lizard sunning himself on the basalt stones, which is always a delight for everyone.

The guidebook also mentions a bathhouse just down the road.  We ventured the 3km and found a structure in rubble surrounded by a fence.  Being that there was no sign, we can't be certain this was the Umayyad "Hammam As-Srah" but we didn't see anything else remotely close.

Next on our toddler-timed explorations, we headed out east on Highway 40, towards Azraq, and checked out Amra Castle (coordinates: 31°48'10"N 36°35'19"E) and Kharana Castle (coordinates: 31°43'36" 036°27'48).  

Definitely note, that these two are practically within eyesight of each other, so combining them seems logical.  And we'll just skip the part about how we failed to do that on our first trip.

Personally, I found these two to be far more interesting that Hallabat.  Note that neither is well marked, but once you see a large square stone building in the middle of nothing on the right, you'll know you've reached Kharana.  Amra will be on your left a little farther on.

Amra (Qusayr Amra), while small, is listed on the World Heritage Site List for its intact colorful frescos decorating the walls. It's just 15km past Kharana on the opposite side.  

Originally a hunting lodge and bathhouse from the early 700s, the evidence of which can be seen in the large reconstructed water wheel outside, the most amazing part is that the detailed frescos depicting naked women, cupids, animals, fruits and vines, survived despite an edict ordering the destruction of all human images only five years after its creation.  Definitely check out all the nooks and crannies here, my favorite was the guitar-playing bear.

Keep in mind, that from the highway, Castle Kharana looks like a large 3-story stone cube.  But if you turn in on the small road just past it, where the sign may or may not be visible, it will lead you to the visitors center.  A few things to note about these visitor centers, they're always staffed, most sites are free, sometimes there's an open museum worth seeing, and typically there are adequate bathroom facilities.

Maybe it's the toddler influence, but Kharana was fun for its layout of rooms leading to more rooms.  

Its second floor was worthy of exploration, too, with fleur-de-lis decorations still visible in the arches and arrow slits peeking out into the desert in all directions.  It’s believed to date back to the late seventh century, with some graffiti dating to November 710AD found in an upper room.  Its purpose was probably as a neutral meeting place for the Umayyad regime and local Bedouins, despite some appearances that it might have been an actual castle.

There are three more castles listed on the "loop", and according to the guidebook, Castle Mushatta is unfinished, and its most interesting find was the intricate carvings that were pried off and given to the Pergamon Museum in Berlin before World War I.  There are also Castles Tuba and Burqu, both of which need to be accessed with a 4x4 and a desert guide.  So, based on those tidbits, we may have completed enough of the Desert Castle loop to satisfy our curiosity.

Are any of these make-or-break sites in Jordan? No, but they're fun destinations outside of the city and a chance to soak up a little history and have a great parking lot picnic on a gorgeous weekend afternoon (with a smattering of scenic Jordanian countryside potty breaks).  What more could you ask for?

La Storia: Just Go

If you’re like me, and you hear “life-size” and “diorama” in the same sentence, your heart starts to flutter, your respiration increases and you just hope against hope that the “zany” will prevail.  Well, have no fear, La Storia Tourism Complex does not disappoint.

First off, I just have to say that we’ve lived here for over two years, and I’m surprised and a little annoyed that we hadn’t heard of La Storia before.  But no matter, we’re over that and subsequently packed up the kids, and trekked out in the direction of Mount Nebo.

Conveniently, La Storia is located just a mile from the Mount Nebo site (it will be on the right as you’re heading to Nebo).  If you still happen to miss it, the coordinates are 31°46'2"N, 35°44'32"E, and their contact information is www.lastoria-nebo.com, ph. 0777288886.

Their brochure states, “The museum offers an unforgettable experience of the religious, historical and cultural heritage of Jordan and the region and take a walk in the streets of a Jordanian village to discover the style of ancient houses and ancient crafts….”  I cannot agree more that it’s truly an unforgettable experience.

You start off walking past life-size dioramas depicting the stories of Noah, Mary and Joseph and the wise men, John the Baptist (getting tortured in jail), the parting of the Red Sea, and even the Last Supper.

This is followed by a really nice display of old photographs and old clothing and some intricate scale models of the Kaaba and the Dome of the Rock.

From here, you enter the animated portion; think "It's a Small World" but life-size and all in Bedouin garb (and without the catchy tune).  You begin the tour through the “village” life with a festive tent full of musicians and happy people grinding grain and churning butter.

From there you move on into the "village" past a variety of scenes, including a khodarji (vegetable seller), a bread seller, a cobbler, a cafe, a school, and even a masseuse.  The expressions on the villagers range from sleepy to bemused to mildly unnerving.

As you walk around, be sure to look all over.  There are villagers staring down at you from balconies, there's a one-legged woman cooking over a fire, and there's even a weaver who looks strangely like Rasputin. 

There's also someone peeking out at you from under a manhole cover.  When we asked about the peeking person our self-appointed guide said, "Oh, that's just to be funny."   Hmmm.

When you've had your fill of "village life", you can exit and walk across the way to a large building where you first see artists working painstakingly on intricate mosaics and then you walk into a very large shop that sells everything from mosaic tables and mirrors, to inlay furniture, clothing, jewelry, toiletries, ceramics, toys, etc.  They also have a cafe, but there wasn't much on offer when we were there.

So, whether you tack it on to your next trip to Mount Nebo, or you make a specific trip just for it, checking out La StoriaTourism Complex is simply too odd, zany, kitschy, and wonderfully weird to miss (in my opinion); and that’s not just because of the person under the manhole cover.

Warning: Sexy Content Ahead

This past Valentine's Day marked our 11th since my husband and I have been together.  While we don't typically go all out, we have done the flowers, chocolates, and dinner thing with fair regularity.  Even after our first child arrived, we still marked the day with some accepted form of acknowledgement.  However, I think things started to go south last year, when my husband, who can't tell a lie to save his life (or marriage), admitted to me that the chocolates he gave me were actually from a friend in the office who bought extra boxes for his wife and daughters.  And since my husband forgot entirely, his friend took pity on him and gave him a box.

So, fearing my husband's friend was going to have to bail him out again this year, I jumped in a few days before the big day and said, "No chocolates or flowers this year, okay?  Let's just go out to dinner or see a movie."  No surprise, my husband agreed.

We were all ready to get a babysitter and grab a movie, but unfortunately we couldn't find anything we were remotely interested in seeing.  So, we planned for just a nice dinner.  But after thinking about it, I said, "You have the day off because of President's Day, so let's go out to lunch instead."  And then I added, "And what I really want to do... is have lunch, and then take an hour to do whatever we want."  My husband's eyebrows did a crazy move, so I quickly added, "... like I can write without kids screaming all around me and you can read the news."  You might think my husband would have been disappointed, but he practically whooped with excitement. Yup, we're a wild bunch.

The big day arrived and my first Valentine's Day gift was my husband offering to take Bean to nursery school so I could take a shower.  But before that, he said, "Can you help me remove the babies' car seats, so I can get the car vacuumed after I drop Bean off?"  (Ooooh, vacuuming the car!  Two gifts and it's barely 8:45!)  Despite my glee at the prospect of getting the car de-crackered, I gave him the face that said, "I'm in a t-shirt, Tigger pajama pants, and pink crocs... And you want me to go outside?!?"  Knowing that face well, his response was, "You look awesome, you smell awesome."  Yeah, romance abounds.  So I threw on a sweatshirt, grabbed my sunglasses and helped him unload the car.

With a nice big pile or car seats, double stroller and misc bits on our front lawn, hubby and Bean headed off to school while I headed for the shower.  Following my lather-rinse-repeat routine, I emerged to find a text from my husband, "They're charging me 4JD for vacuuming.  You must get the 'look awesome, smell awesome' 2JD price."  Awww, a love note, too?  Such a sweetie.

While I was waiting for him to return from being gouged at the gas station, the nanny and I took the babies out for their daily "walkies" around the block.  Just as we were returning to the garden, hubby arrived.  While the babies played in the garden, we re-installed all the car seats and piled all the crap back in the trunk.

Now it was finally time for our date!  To add to the excitement, we opted to walk the mile to the restaurant since it was such a gorgeous day.  So we packed up our iPads, Kindles, phones, reading glasses, and whatever else you need for a sexy Valentine's Day date, and headed out.

At the restaurant, hubby asked, "Are we eating first, or playing first?"  I suggested we eat first.  After finishing our meal, and once there was a lull in the conversation, my husband said haltingly, "So, when does the gadget part of the date begin?"  To which, I replied, "As soon as we can get them to clean the table."  Amazing how the lure of electronic do-dads can make him find a helpful waiter.

Table cleaned, bill paid, iPad out and ready for kid-free writing time, and husband already muttering Spanish verbs to himself as he read "Master Spanish Through Reading" on his Kindle.  At the end of our Valentine's-Day-gadget hour, we packed up our gear and walked home in the sunshine, making sure to take the long way.

Yeah, maybe it falls slightly short of being a bodice-ripper tale, but it was one of the best Valentine's Days we've ever had.  And besides, I look awesome and smell awesome, and I get a discount on car vacuuming, what else could a girl want?