This parenting gig is hard. Whether you have one or multiples, whether they're healthy or sick, there are varying degrees of difficulties that we all deal with. But when I hear of a sick child who is dying, I suddenly feel so grateful for my screaming, scratching, bawling, clawing children. And I send a little prayer of thanks to God for these amazing beings he's saddled me with and I apologize for all my griping.
Read moreI Hope This Is Just a Phase
Here’s the problem. I clearly have a full diaper. But I still have to tap my butt like a baby to let Mom know. So what does she do? She says in a sweet voice, “Do you need a new diaper?” No, I just like tapping my butt. Yes, lady! I’m carrying around 10 hours worth of pee here. Geesh! It’s like a water balloon. Help! So we walk hand-in-hand, just in case she forgets what she’s doing or loses her way, and I lead her into my bedroom. I walk over to the dresser. Trying to keep her attention, I point to the stash of diapers. Focus lady! She lifts me up and lays me down. She takes off my Mickey pajamas and then finally removes the water balloon I’ve been lugging around. Whew! Then she grabs a vroom-vroom pull-up. No, not that one! She asks, “You don’t want this one?” What did I just say, lady? Then she stands me up and tries to get me to step into the vroom-vroom pull-up. I said no! She asks if I want the Elmo diaper. Yeah, sure. So she lays me down again. Wait, no not the Elmo diaper! Stop! Again she asks, “You don’t want this one?” What did I just say, lady? No! Yuck and double yuck. Vroom-vroom, clearly. So she finally gets the right one. Then I point and tell her I want to put it on while lying on my bed. But no, the queen-of-all-things has the audacity to say, “No, we’ll change you here.” But I wanted to stand and step into it! Finally she lets me stand and get dressed like I want to. Then she puts me down! Can you believe it? And she opens my drawer and says, “Pick out your clothes for today.” Like I can do that? “Do you want me to pick them out?” Yes, please! Wait! I want the Mickey t-shirt. Let me find it. This one, now help me put it on. Wait! I hate that t-shirt, what are you doing to me? Get it off! This is one I want. Yes. Now shorts. Wrong ones! Not those! Hate and double hate those. You’re doing it all wrong! Let me pick them out, geesh! Now help me, lady! No, don’t pull them up! I can do that. You did it wrong! I didn’t get to do it! Do it over, do it over! Take them off! Wait, she’s leaving. She’s walking out the door. She’s abandoning me forever. What did I do? Why does she hate me so much? Oh, good, she’s coming back. Now dry my tears and carry me so I can rest my head on your shoulder. Wait! I need my puppy. No, don’t put me down and tell me to get my puppy! Hold me and go get him! Okay, have puppy, have shoulder to wipe nose on. This was exhausting. I hope this was just a phase she’s going through.
Kitchens, Castles, and TeePees (oh my!)
When we first arrived in Bahrain, before all our stuff arrived, I asked my then-four-year-old what she’d like made out of the boxes. In Jordan, she asked for a library (with loaner kittens and a Jacuzzi). Amazingly, our library made out of two large moving boxes, lots of duck tape and some paint, lasted over two years! So I wasn’t sure what to expect this time. When she asked for a gas station I can honestly say I never would have guessed that. So, my first project was to make a gas station for our three Cozy Coupes (yup, three of those suckers). Thanks to the gods of Pinterest, I whipped one up pretty quickly. A bit bare bones, but it functioned as required.
Next was a kitchen. My first cardboard kitchen in Jordan I went all out with design, paper maché, recycled plastic knob caps, paint, etc. The knob caps lasted about 2 days before being pulled off. But everything else lasted almost three years. I did that in the pre-babies nesting craze and everyone enjoyed it for the years to come.
This time around, I had three little ones vying for space, so I re-designed it to make it larger, modular and with more surface area. I also made the design and decorations a lot more simple. No paint, no shelves, no paper maché this time. Just white duck tape to cover things up, a thick black marker, an exacto knife, and a piece of fabric.
Initially I did try to make my own faucets out of plastic bottles for the sink (which was a plastic basin just resting in the hole), but those were quickly ripped off. So I opted to buy a Little Tykes toy sink (which fit in the hole perfectly) and a bag of stove knobs that I jury-rigged using bolts and large washers so they could actually be spun. I thought about having an oven that opened, but decided against it, drew it on and just went with the under-the-sink area.
For added insanity, I also made a microwave and a fridge. I had this vision of all the play food being neatly stacked in the fridge. Silly, Mommy. I think the empty fridge will be re-purposed soon.
To follow on from the "library" in Jordan, I thought maybe we’d try a castle this time. The issue I found was that the moving boxes we now had in Bahrain, were not the same type we had in Jordan. They were smaller and less sturdy. Which meant I needed to be a little more creative. I managed to do three castle parts that I then attempted to tape and glue together. I did some simple cut-out windows, some battlements, a glued-on red velvet “door” and some simple sponge-painted bricks for effect.
The kids enjoyed it (so did the cats), but because it wasn’t as sturdy as our library, and after a few run-ins with bigger kids who liked to climb out the window, we saw it collapsing into ruins after about 9 months. Recently one night, seeing parts lying flat on the ground, I dragged the pieces out to the trash and bid farewell.
Okay… so next project? Well, we were coming up on a double three-year-old birthdays, so I started poking about on the devil’s playground, also known as Pinterest. And I found it! TeePees!!
I spent a few days looking at pictures and mentally designing it in my head. Then I had it. So after school drop-off one morning, I drove over to my pvc-guy. That’s normal, right? I wandered into the small sanitary-ware shop and found the same guy who helped me last time. I told him I wanted more pvc (I’m still finishing up the first project: cat beds). So I followed him back outside into the 108+ temps, and we walked down the side alley. Back in the US, I probably would not have felt comfortable following a man into a dusty side alley, but I’ve lived in the Middle East long enough to know that all good things are in back dusty alleys. Same was true here; the pvc stash.
All the pipes were 3 meters long (almost 10 feet). He got one out for me but I felt it might be too thin and wobbly, so I asked for a thicker one. This was perfect! I asked how much it was. Wiping off the thick brown layer of dust so he could see the numbers, he made a quick phone call and then told me it was 900 fils (about $2.30). I told him I’d like four. So he pulled them out, and then taking a filthy rag, kindly dusted them off (sort of). He tied them together with thin wire and then carried them to my car. So for less than $10 I had my teepee frame!
With some help and a step-ladder, and far too much input from an obnoxious Bahraini kitten, I managed to get the basic frame put up using large zip-ties. Then I had to find a covering. I first tried an old queen-sized sheet, but it just wasn’t big enough. So either I was going to have to do some cutting and sewing, or I needed to find another solution.
The solution came in a queen-sized comforter cover we didn’t use anymore. I sliced it open down two sides and essentially just wrapped it around. It’s far from perfect, with yards of fabric pooling on one side, and a split zipper on two sides. But I did sew up the two “door” sides to make them less tatty.
I then used scissors to cut little holes on either side of the poles and tied ribbons around them to secure the sheet in place. I also threaded ribbon through the top of the doorway to close it a bit.
With the old comforter in place as bedding, and some fairy lights that I had a local electrician add a toggle switch to, we were all set!
It’s not nearly as Pinterest-picture-perfect as I would have liked, but considering my time and brain constraints, I’m happy with it. And even better, the kiddos like it, too. And who knows, I just might opt to curl up in there with a book and a cup of tea one morning while the munchkins are at school; providing I can nudge over one of the cats, that is.
The Fairest Piñata of All
There are moments when I have a good idea. Lately these are few and far between, so when they happen I have extra appreciation (with a little added self-fanfare for effect).
My recent good idea came in the aftermath of my five-year-old's birthday party. Since I was running with the party-planning momentum, I planned out the upcoming double third birthday party I'd be having in a few months. One of the big hits from my five-year-old's birthday was a piñata. I opted for the string-pull piñata instead of the whack-a-mole version and it was a hit.
While still reeling from the high following the five-year-old's party I found myself looking at DIY piñatas for the next party. Thankfully Pinterest saved the day and scrolled this across my screen: a punch box!
I liked the string piñata, but I had two minor issues with it. One was that I had to basically pull and shake out all of the goodies inside as the hole opening just wasn't doing it. And two, was that inevitably some of the smaller kids didn't get much. So I found myself going around and pilfering from one five-year-old to give to a three-year-old and such. With the idea of a punch box, however, they would all get the exact same thing. The fairness fairy in me was delighted.
I had everything I needed, large cardboard box, some cups, and tissue paper. But of course, I couldn't just do it that way, I needed to make things a little more difficult. I decided to fill the cups with chocolate coins, little cars, and blinking rings (to go with our princesses and cars theme). And in order to assure that everyone got the exact same things, I decided to color code it.
In addition to my three kids, we were inviting seven friends. This meant 10 kids with each kid having their own individual color. Then each kid would have 3 cups to punch, which meant I needed 30 cups and 10 different colors of tissue paper. No problem.
Step one was deciding the layout with the cups.
Then tracing the cups so the holes could be cut out. I needed to make sure that the holes were slightly smaller than the cup openings, but not too small. Had to make sure that little hands could still get in there.
Next was wrapping time. Depending on what box you use, you could either paint it, wrap it, or just leave it as is. I opted to wrap it in paper. Which also meant that I needed to cut out the holes again as well. *sigh*
Next I needed to get my tissue paper, cut out three squares of each color, and then randomly tape them down.
Finally it was time to fill the cups. I made sure there were 10 cups with chocolate coins, 10 cups with racing cars, and 10 cups with flashing rings.
Then I proceeded to flip them over and tape them down. It was a great way to use up a lot of miscellaneous tape we had lying around.
Finally, because I wanted to make sure the cups didn't fall off once the box was upright, I layered the back of the box with bubble wrap to put some pressure on the cups and keep them stable. Then seal it all in!
Looks rather simple when you write it out. However, the fact that I had to do it in tiny stages and it therefore took me several weeks to complete isn't surprising. Hopefully others will be more efficient and less interrupted.
All in all, it was a huge hit at the birthday party (and with my inner fairness fairy) and I would definitely recommend it.
The Exceptional Husband
My husband is exceptional. He’s not exceptional because he comes home most nights and helps put the kids to bed.
He’s not exceptional because he does everything from wiping noses to butts and everything in between.
He’s not exceptional because he can comb out tangles without a tear.
He’s not exceptional because he knows the right dress can make a toddler happy; and the wrong dress can make everyone unhappy.
He’s not exceptional because he can turn eating hummus sandwiches into a song.
He’s not exceptional because he can play hide and go seek with toddlers who don’t understand the rules.
He’s not exceptional because he will take a day off from work to help with the kids when I’m too sick.
He’s not exceptional because he figured out how to make mac-and-cheese on his own in the Instant Pot.
He’s not exceptional because he will grab a random two-year-old for an errand and bring them home covered in chocolate.
He’s not exceptional because he gets the kids to eat beans and spinach by offering to feel their muscles with great fanfare.
He’s not exceptional because he decorates cookies like a four-year-old.
He’s not exceptional because he encourages me to go to a random book club or moms night out.
He’s not exceptional because he will play tea party (even though he orders cappuccinos).
He’s not exceptional because he exposes the kids to multiple languages believing that two-year-olds can handle it.
He’s not exceptional because he will play “hop on pop” to the children’s great delight.
He’s not exceptional because he will initiate bath time times three.
He’s not exceptional because he changes the words to “Row Row” every time causing great giggles in everyone.
He’s not exceptional because he will take the four-year-old out to the grocery store at night and stop for ice cream on the way home.
He’s not exceptional because he’s willing to learn the different princess names… sort of.
He’s not exceptional because he wants the floors and walls covered in pillows to prevent ouchies.
He’s not exceptional because he put together three identical balance bikes before Christmas.
He’s not exceptional because he packs school lunches with salad greens.
He’s not exceptional because he has instilled the desire to brush teeth every night in order to show off one’s “movie star teeth.”
He’s not exceptional because he makes phonics a pure joy for our four-year-old.
He’s not exceptional because he lets me exercise as soon as two out of the three kids are in bed.
He’s not exceptional because he knows all the words to “Baa Baa Black Sheep,” “Campfire’s Burning,” and “Kookaburra” (if not the tunes).
He’s not exceptional because he validates the difficulty of parenting when he asks me, “How do you do this every day!?” after spending two days with the kids.
He’s not even exceptional because he still suggests I go away for two nights to a hotel to relax and write.
None of these make him exceptional; they make him a dad. (A great dad, but still just a dad.)
He’s an exceptional husband because he supports me in my endeavor to re-find myself. And I truly feel he believes in me. This makes him beyond exceptional and something to be grateful for every day.