Firefly Meditation

For years I’ve been hearing about the benefits of meditation. Everyone prattles on about how helpful meditation is for stress reduction and improving physical health and even aids in weight loss. I’ve taken mindfulness classes, I’ve done therapy, I’ve done the yoga classes (hot and regular).  And everywhere I go everyone keeps praising the wonders of meditation.  It's like the universe is trying to tell me something.

My vision of meditation was always sitting crosslegged on the floor letting my mind go completely blank. It sounded rather peaceful and tranquil.  But when I would try it, my mind was like a runaway freight train.  There was no slowing it down. I would try to envision myself floating in deep space with nothing around. Oops, there's the grocery list for tomorrow.  Then I envisioned myself resting on a large fluffy cloud; until visions of 747s and Mary Poppins floated by. Then I tried picturing myself in a large box with a closed lid, kind of like an isolation chamber... or a coffin. Nope, I started to smell pine.  

During one mindfulness class I was told that when thoughts drifted in to just blow them away like they were dandelion fluff. I envisioned them as clouds creeping in to my range of vision and I would give them a little puff and they’d float away. But then I spent the whole time puffing away at cloud-thoughts and never getting to the calm and peaceful stage.

Finally a friend recommended I try "Insight Time," a free app. I figured why not, maybe I could perfect my cloud puffing technique. Initially I set it for just five minutes thinking maybe I could maintain an empty mind for at least five minutes. I was wrong. But what I found was that as I relaxed and as my breathing deepened, my thoughts, which started like spastic fireflies on an open field started to slow down. As the gentle chanting continued and my breathing slowed even more my firefly thoughts slowed to a lazy speed. And then they started clumping. Thoughts about planning an upcoming party would start to clump together in one corner of the field. Thoughts about an editing project would gather together and clump in another corner. Thoughts about the ever-present grocery list, gently clumped together in the center. 

By the end of my 10 minutes all of my firefly thoughts would be calmly buzzing in their little clumps happily organized and ready for action. It’s not how I envisioned meditation, but like everything you have to make it personal.

Maybe you’re one of those who can float away in deep space and embrace the nothingness of it.  Maybe you embrace the coffin-like quiet, without thoughts of Lestat creeping in. And maybe I’ll be able to get to that point sometime as well. But for now, I’m embracing my fireflies and pleased that I found a way to calm them and clump them.  Happy new year with happy fireflies!

Dear Nonni

Dear Nonni,

We are so excited to have you come visit for Christmas!  But, being that you don’t get to visit us often and I am already five-years-old and my brother and sister are only three-years-old, we do feel the need to forewarn you of a few stages we are in. We have yet to learn the art of volume control. Our settings are either loud or asleep. And when we’re excited, like around Christmas or your arrival or Tuesdays, our loud settings can increase. We also find bum-bums hilarious. In fact, they are endlessly hilarious. And when they are naked, the hilarity increases. We can’t wait to show you our bum-bum dance. One of us, we won’t mention who he is, loves to demonstrate how Daddy pees standing up and Mommy pees sitting down. This can go on for hours to his great delight. Just smile and pretend it’s interesting. We have a special craft to do with you when you’re here, providing Mommy gets it prepped, whatever that means. It has lots of ‘parkles on it. We can’t wait to read lots of books with you. We especially love to constantly interrupt with questions that will be answered in the next sentence had we let you finish reading. We still make a big mess when we eat and we can’t wait to see how much your eyes roll. We also love to have spontaneous dance parties between bites. You’re going to love it!  I am in a “very curious” stage, so Mommy keeps saying. This means I get to ask lots and lots of questions.  Please try to keep up (Mommy often lags behind). We are currently in a big sharing stage. We love to share turning things off and on. Every day we get to share turning the Christmas tree lights on. First, I turn them on, then my brother turns them off and on, and then my sister gets to turn them off and on again. This goes for turning the lights off at night, shutting and opening doors, turning the TV off and on, opening and closing the fridge, and turning on and off the faucet. It’s fabulously fun. We still love to color and one of us may constantly ask you if you think it’s beautiful, despite Mommy repeatedly telling us that it doesn’t matter what others think. My brother still loves cars, so we always get to spend a few minutes before bedtime playing “find the taxi” so he can sleep with his favorite car. It’s a hoot!  We still have four kitties and Monkey is still as rotten as ever. Mommy worries he’ll never grow out of it. Mommy keeps telling Daddy that we need to make sure the bar is fully stocked before you arrive, whatever that means. And don’t forget to bring your jacket. It’s super super cold here, like 70°.  Lots of love, can’t wait to see you!  It’s going to be loud loud loud!

Love,

LM&N

Date Night in Bahrain

Lately, my husband and I have been pretty good about doing a semi-regular weekly date night. Granted, it's taken us almost six years to get to this point, but as they say, good things come to those who wait (or are just too tired to go out). Typically we go to the movies and try to stay awake until the end. Once in a while we’ll go to dinner. Also on the list of possibilities I have ballroom dancing, bowling, and I recently added nighttime paddle boarding!

I once asked, “What do you think of doing a paint your own pottery night?“ To which my husband responded, “What do you think of doing a build your own computer night?“ ‘Nuff said. 

Recently, however, we stepped out of our norms a little bit. For a year now my husband has been saying he would take me to a vegetarian Indian restaurant in the Manama souk that friends recommended. And it was finally happening! We parked by the Intercontinental Hotel and walked a few blocks into the heart of the souk. At this point I realized it had been about nine months since I had been here and I’ve probably only made three or four visits in total, so I did not know it well. And from past experience, I knew my husband didn't know it well either. But I let him lead and we wandered through back alleys and passed open shops selling perfume and watches and plastic buckets and closed shops proclaiming necessary wonders behind shuttered doors. 

Manama souk has vague references to Cairo‘s Khan el Khalili, but it doesn’t have the charm or the intrigue or the wonder or the filth or the odors or the masses of people.  But for a small city it has maze-like back alleys in areas where I find myself grateful to be following my husband and not exploring on my own, which gives it just enough of a sense of adventure for a good date night. 

We circled around for a while turning this way and that, passing bundles of Indian and Pakistani men working and socializing, passing Bahraini families with protesting children, passing hawkers offering Rolex watches on every corner. I wonder why they think we need a Rolex so badly? After about 15 minutes I strongly suggested my husband ask for directions. We didn’t know the name of the restaurant but we knew we were in the general area as we were in the gold souk. He popped into one jewelry store and they told us to make a quick right turn and then an immediate left and we would see it there. They were right! 

Of course, we found ourselves at the back door to Swagat restaurant, but they kindly opened the door for us and shuttled us past the industrial sink and Coke machine.  There were three or four tables in this area but they gestured and we climbed some incredibly steep stairs that were more ladder-like than stair-like.  Upstairs there were twice as many tables and I instantly noticed there were no women anywhere, only men. But we were then shown into the “Family Room“ where there were five tables set up for women and families to eat separately. 

We chose one that looked relatively clean and sat down. A man came over and gave us a box of tissues and two metal cups and then stared at Ron. I was wondering if we were going to get menus but then Ron pointed to the wall behind my head and I realized their extensive all-vegetarian menu was right there. 

I also realized I didn’t recognize about 90% of it. Ron ordered the Thali meal and a large bottle of water. Friends who had recommended the restaurant had also recommended the Thali dish, which was a selection of nine different dishes, plus white rice, plus a variety of bread.  And, like the Olive Garden’s endless pasta bowls, you could apparently ask for seconds and thirds and beyond. All for just 1BD ($2.65). Astounding!

We didn’t have to wait long until the man returned with a metal tray full of a variety of things to try. He also handed out two slightly battered metal plates that were off kilter just enough so they spun when you tried to scoop up your food. Added entertainment!

Everything was delicious. Some of the spices had a bit of a kick to them so we reminded the man again that we had asked for water. He returned a few minutes later to ask whether we wanted cold water or room-temperature water. We asked for cold. As we ate, the room started to fill up. A family with a toddler sat down at the table next to us and plunked the child on top of the table, dirty shoes and all. Immunity boosters on date night, perfect!

We happily finished our little bowls and decided not to partake of seconds despite the deliciousness. I suggested we ask for the check but my husband pointed out we were still waiting for our water. So we chatted and waited a little longer and watched all the tables fill up.  I finally pointed out the obvious, that we were never going to get our water and that I felt it was time we should leave as I wanted to do a bit of shopping in the souk. So we flagged the man down and got the check. To keep the romance alive my husband suggested we go Dutch, so I threw in 1BD for a tip. 

We climbed carefully down the ladder stairs and walked out the front door instead of through the kitchen. We wanted to see if we could find it next time and actually come through the front door. 

We then started meandering through the streets still being offered a Rolex at every opportunity. I wanted to buy some traditional Bahraini dresses for the girls. I had heard from friends that the sellers would try to  get 10 BD from foreigners, but that we should not pay more than 3-4 BD. I stopped in one shop and looked at some and when I asked the price he said 10 BD. I said that I had heard the local price was 4 BD. He hemmed and hawed but wouldn’t budge. I said that was fine and we left.

We looked in another shop but they were more pageant-like than traditional Bahraini so we moved on. In the third shop they had a nice selection of colors and styles and sizes. I picked two out for our girls and one for a friend and then started the bartering process. No surprise, he started at 10 BD. I told him that I’d offer 4 BD. He went down to 8BD.  I stayed firm at 4 BD. As is the custom he started bagging them up as if the sale was done. I said I give him 15 BD for three. He countered with 20 BD.  I grabbed another dress and tossed it on the pile and said I’d give him 20 BD for four dresses. He asked for 22BD. At this point I relented and gave him the 22. 

It’s been a few years since I've truly gotten to barter like that and it was fun to flex those muscles again. The key thing is that you have to be willing to walk away. And in all honesty I didn’t want to go through this in another shop so I was willing to pay the extra few Dinar. 

My husband then said he wanted to get some lemon mint juice so we stopped at a corner store. We looked at the extensive menu and saw that they were offering chikoo milkshakes. We had seen this at the restaurant as well so my husband inquired as to what chikoo was. They showed us this small round brown fruit. They cut it open and offered it to us. It was delicious but I don’t know if I can describe it. It was soft like a fig, but fleshy like a plum, but brown. Physically it was not particulary appetizing but it tasted delicious. So my husband got one of those as well. 

While they were hand-making and squeezing and stirring everything I started to look at the adjacent shop. He was selling watches (who isn’t?) and shoes and socks.  There was a snake-like string of slipper socks for kids hanging down so I started to pick through them and after unhooking a whole pile of them I chose three and handed my money over. 

By this time my husband had his freshly-made drinks and we started to wander back to the car. We were following the lights of the skyscrapers high above the rooftops to find our parking lot.  We wandered down one alley and came to a shop selling T-shirts (and watches, yes, watches) and in one last fling we bartered the seller down from 8 BD to 5 BD for a Bahraini football jersey for my husband. I doubt he’ll ever wear it but it makes for a good story.

All in all, it was a fabulous date night.  Might be hard to live up to, but maybe we'll hit a movie next time and then try for one adventure per month.  Besides, we still need to get that Rolex.