The other day, Daddy got up for the 6:00 a.m. wake-up with Baby #1 and let me sleep in. By 7:30 a.m., I was up and ready to take over, and sent Daddy back to bed for a few more zzzzz’s.
Over the following 90-minutes, my morning went something like this:
Put Baby #1 in jumper.
Cram comforter into washing machine after discovering that Louie the kitty leaked on it.
Pull yesterday’s laundry out of dryer.
Baby #1 protests loudly; cease laundry pull.
Scoop up Baby #1 and let him sit on my lap while I do a quick review of email.
Carry Baby #1 to kitchen to get a cup of tea.
Hear toddler bellowing with her morning wake-up routine.
Abandon tea on counter.
Put Baby #1 down amidst pile of toys (he’s not mobile yet).
Greet bellowing toddler and get her out of bed.
Overhear Baby #2 waking up and babbling.
Finish dressing toddler; limiting her choices drastically.
Head into Baby #2 and get her up.
Change diaper, grab bottle and feed Baby #2.
Put fed and changed Baby #2 in jumper.
Scoop up Baby #1, change diaper and grab bottle.
Head off to put Baby #1 down for his morning nap.
Feed, sing, put Baby #1 down.
Return to not-so-happy Baby #2.
Retrieve her from jumper and let her crawl around.
Finish retrieving laundry from dryer to fold.
Grab lukewarm tea.
Sit with Baby #2 on floor and get “help” from toddler to fold laundry.
Fulfill request for soymilk from toddler; resume laundry folding.
Retrieve Baby #2 from under desk where she’d wedged herself; resume laundry folding.
Address toddler’s discovery of cat poop under the dining table; clean up; resume laundry folding.
Deny toddler’s request for “Elmo”; put on jazz internet radio instead.
Help Baby #2 stand at musical table (she’s not quite stable yet).
Attempt distraction and put Baby #2 amidst pile of toys.
Grab folded laundry off the floor and stash it in the kitchen or on the dining table to be put away at a later time.
Come to horrifying realization that toddler has entered the “Why?” phase.
Discover even more horrifying realization that it took me about 45 seconds before I heard myself say, “Because I said so.”
Play with Baby #2 at musical table while toddler pretends to go grocery shopping for one item at a time; “You want eggplant?” “You want watermelon?” etc.
Pick up and turn Baby #2 around from heading in the direction of her latest discovery, shoes. Try distracting with blocks.
Address repeated requests for reading to toddler (she refuses to fall for “You read it first” suggestions).
Sit with toddler on lap, hold book with one hand and hold Baby #2 up at musical table with other hand.
Read page 1; readjust Baby #2 by holding on to her shirt.
Read page 2; Baby #2 protests feeling like she’s hung on a hook.
Hear Baby #1 mimicking a screaming banshee on fire to let us know he’s awake and he’s pooped.
Put Baby #2 down, facing away from the shoes.
Remove toddler from lap (amidst protests of an unfinished book).
Tell toddler to make sure her sister doesn’t eat the shoes.
On the way down the hall to get the banshee, open bedroom door and tell Daddy it’s time to get up.
Let the day begin!