The Mom in Cairo

Following our successful cat-transport adventures, Mom and I settled in at home where Ron was waiting for us. We had intentions of going out and “doing the town” our first day, but as is typical, the jetlag had other ideas. I was up from 2:30 to 11:00am, then finally back to sleep to awake at 3:30pm and Mom had similar experiences. We did manage to finally leave the apartment when we picked up Ron at the embassy, along with packages from Uncle Amazon, so Mom was at least able to feel the grit of Cairo air on her face.

Upon waking that first day, Mom stood at our living room window staring out at the small street behind us, the guard shacks, and the enormous dilapidated house across the way surrounded by piles of dust-covered rubble. Her observation, “It looks Biblical,” gave me new insight. I thought it was just dusty.

But then again, there are some sights around that definitely have a “Biblical” feel (if I can claim that), and with Mom saying, “He looks Biblical,” and “That looks Biblical” throughout her visit, they quickly became all the more apparent.





Our second day, we still didn’t sleep well, but I did drag Mom into the embassy for my morning Arabic class. Again, our intentions were to wander afterwards, but a clogged drain and impending rendesvous with an embassy plumber altered those plans, so we walked home. Along the way we had two “offers” to help us cross the street. One was extremely persistent, even following us into the Opera House complex where we inquired about tickets for a ballet. I was pleased that I had to use rudimentary Arabic to learn that the ticket machine was down and we’d have to return later. As we exited the complex Mom pointed out the same man hanging out near the entrance. As we passed he started chatting again, and I brushed him aside and said, “Sakna hena.” (I live here.) His response, “Aw, just smile for me,” set my teeth on edge and my finger itchin’ fer a trigger. I fail to see why strange men around the globe mistakenly think this is charming. I see it as the pedophile’s phrase of choice.

After we ditched him, we continued our walk without any further “aid.” Mom did manage to utter at least two “Why-Would-They?” phrases throughout the day, which goes to show that even the slightest interaction with Cairo cannot be done without such observations. As with all guests, we explain the rules of the “WWT” game and will not stand for any attempts to slip by with a “I find it interesting when…” or “Isn’t it funny that…” Those count too. The more points you accrue, the more you have to pay up. It’s very difficult NOT to play though, as Cairo routinely offers so many examples of WWTs. It’s a game of Diplomatic tongue-holding.

The plumber arrived eventually, declogged the sink and attempted to show me what he extracted while I tried not to flinch or vomit (drains and dead band-aids make me run for the hills, give me a pile of cat poop or an autopsy any day). Mom and I then succumbed to the power of the “Cairo nap” which takes on an other-worldly depth. We did manage to awake for dinner at Kababgy with Ron and our friend Ben. We ate wonderful Egyptian food and drank Egyptian beer (Stella Gold and Sakara are the two main brands), while dining outside at the southern tip of Zamalek island looking out onto the Nile and the city lights around us. If you ignore the debris floating in the water, it really is quite beautiful.

Picture Pages – Daily Life in Cairo

Without fail, we manage to get at least one really fantastic photo during our weekly commissary runs (sometimes 30). So I thought I’d share some of our favorites.

First, our growing collection of cars, taxis, and stuffed-trucks, and yes, the first one is full of camels.







Houseplant delivery method, just don't turn quickly...

When you forgot rope or bungees, there's nothing better than good-old human determination (and long arms):

Ahh, fresh air-dried laundry...

Who needs Uhaul. Completely overrated:

And you can never get enough of the gargantuan limestone lorries...

Except when they happen to drop a load on an on-ramp...

Our collection of motorcycle scenes is also growing rapidly, and the "family" ones continue to be the most frightening, though the young girl on the back of this first bike seems completely non-plussed:

We saw this for the first time last weekend and fearing I hadn't been able to capture it Ron was willing to make a u-turn on the Corniche to chase it down, but luckily we have documented one of the remaining motorized banana cages..., possibly being driven by Santa Clause.

This one, while not a great photo I admit, is apparently Cairo's wool-delivery service:




The road-side carts and "stalls" or just crates or car hoods continue to offer all manner of fruits and vegetables, and the ever-present bread:






Yes, I believe this is a fresh garlic cart (though I'm not sure what the second guy is doing...)

You have your bananas (those that don't have to be caged, obviously):

Watermelons...

Tea (yum! - not to mention it was on an 8-lane highway so you'd have to be feeling pretty desperate for a cuppa)

Straw, anyone?

And I'm not really sure what he's selling...

As much as we love the "mechanical" sights, it is the people and the daily life scenes that are certainly the most interesting:








HUSBAND ANTICS II

From the last time that I left Ron on his own, I was fully prepared for him to revert to his bachelor days and all the repercussions of that. So during my time away in Ohio and Maryland this January, I did receive a few phone calls from a befuddled Ron who had not found my hiding place for the paper towels or the lightbulbs (I “hid” them in the same spot they’ve been in since we moved in… six months ago). He also told me during one of our calls that something was wrong with our freezer. He couldn’t figure out why there was “snow” in it. When I started to suggest some remedies, like make sure the door is shut, he quickly said, “When you come home you can put the house back in order.” Lovely. I wonder if I’ll need a jackhammer or industrial waste bins?

The night before Mom and I arrived in Cairo, Ron was on his own. Our friend Haitham had just left the previous day, so Ron told me he had a big “man feast” prepared for his night of singledom. He was going to feast (i.e., reduce his lifespan) on a big platter of steak, chicken and roasted potatoes and top it off with that world-renowned, indisputable-man-flick, “Finding Nemo.” When I pointed out that he might want to throw in “Die Hard” or “Terminator,” he said, “But I haven’t seen ‘Finding Nemo’.” Can't argue with that.

So the damage upon returning home wasn’t too bad. But Ron did admit to having our housekeeper come the day before we arrived to “touch up” things. I did find evidence of his shopping sprees, however, which resulted in a Costco-sized bushel of papertowels (because he couldn’t “find” the ones we already had), a vat of turmeric (which is destined to become part of our wills as I doubt there are enough lifetimes to use it all – though I’m hoping my up-coming release, “10,001 Ways To Use Up Turmeric,” will be a best-seller), bits of broken chocolate bars strewn throughout the fridge, in the door, vegetable bins, etc., seven half-empty bags of bread in the fridge, more alcohol than most frat houses have, “folded” towels in the linen cupboard (“folded” to Ron means “wadded and wedged” to me), liquor glasses in with the coffee cups, cat bowls in with the people cereal bowls, and obviously because I had “hidden” them, burned out lightbulbs in the lamps. Compared to the mummified onion (or "mumion") we found when Ron moved out of his Baltimore apartment, I thought this wasn't too bad.

As I shared (i.e., vented) my findings with him, he was quick to show me the monthly stipend I'd get from the Social Security Administration should he get hit by a bus. Yeah, he's a catch. And he's all mine.

The Importance of Friends & Loved Ones

I spent ten days in Wales, helping Mom with the task of sorting through Uncle Harold’s house and affairs. My cousin Jeremy had done a tremendous amount by the time we had gotten there, in terms of dealing with the logistics of registering the death and such, so Mom and I wanted to do our part as well. I found the distractions of sorting and tidying and making lists helped me avoid, or really just delay, feeling sad. I will say the effort involved in suppressing one’s sadness, regardless of how manic you become in focusing on sorting each and every drawer you can find, becomes incredibly exhausting. And by the end of the ten days, with the funeral the day before I left, I was extremely empty. I hate funerals, because I hate goodbyes. But I can say with great happiness that Uncle Harold would have been delighted with everyone who showed up to say goodbye. It really was unfair though that such a gathering of friends and loved ones was one he couldn’t attend; I think he would have loved it.

This gathering of friends and loved ones reminded me of my trip home to the states in January. My intentions for the trip home, in addition to the primary purpose of gathering up Clifford and Max from Mom’s, were to see friends, relax and shop.

I arrived first in DC, where I was going to spend two days hanging out with Robin, before I flew on to Ohio. I was so excited to see her! This was the longest we’d ever gone in not seeing each other in almost 20 years, despite emailing and skypeing and such. As soon as I saw her I completely burst into tears, and we stood next to the revolving luggage bins at Dulles, hugging each other and sobbing as if we were twins separated at birth. If I had any sense at all, I probably would have been a bit embarrassed. But I obviously had no sense as well as no idea this was merely the beginning of my sobbing fits.

I managed not to sob in front of Dad and Lori at dinner, but then reenacted my sobbing reunion with Mom at the Dayton airport a few days later. Then sobbed again when I finally saw Max and Clifford (two separate sobbing fits). I think the latter had a lot of guilt attached, as I never intended to leave them with Mom for nine months. I managed to subdue the sobbing for a while, during which I saw friends in Ohio and continued to shop like a lunatic (you’d have thought I was Imelda at a shoe sale). I had been amassing an odd list of desperately-needed items, including vegetarian boullion, mixing bowls, pasta strainer, mascara, etc.

The return plan was to rent a car in Ohio, drive back to Maryland with Clifford and Max, stay two days at Robin’s then head to Dulles and Cairo. Luckily we had left a few days for Maryland as we were hit with a huge snowstorm in Ohio the day we were supposed to leave and had to postpone it one day.

When I was making my plans in January, I had contacted all my girlfriends to see if they could get together for a group dinner. This way I could hopefully see everyone, but wouldn’t have to squeeze in ten lunches. We were able to arrange it at Mary’s house for the night before we flew. All in all there were eleven of us (Mom, Mary, Robin, Linda, Joyce, Kelly, Celia, Betsy, Shari and Valerie), and as soon as I walked in and saw Mary the sobbing ensued. As I greeted everyone the sobbing slowly diminished, but I think I was a bit dehydrated by this point too. The dinner was fantastic and despite the assortment of folks from my various different lives: PETA, the law firm, my attempted career in “security” firms, there was never a lull in the chatter din and we went well into the night finally bidding farewell at 1:30am.

The next day was the flight, and after an unsuccessful attempt to get Clifford to throw up before we got on the plane as he tends to get car-sick (we drove him around the neighborhood, but he refused to comply), Mom and I loaded up the car with all my can’t-live-without purchases and the cats, and I had one final sobbing farewell with Robin.

We got the bags checked (with my subtle attempts to distract the ticket taker while she weighed them), and got through security with the cats in their harnesses and leashes without incident – though I did have one woman ooh and ahh over Max and asked, “What breed is he?” I told her, “D.C. street cat.”

We had some potentially problematic issues in Frankfurt, where we learned that, while Mom and I were booked to fly on to Cairo, Clifford and Max were not. We did some desk hopping, feeling the best way to handle it was ask enough people until we got the answer we needed. We managed to rectify that one, only to discover at the gate that I didn’t have a seat. I was on stand by. They also noted, again, that the cats weren’t booked to fly to Cairo. By this point I was willing to stoop, so I started casually waving about my “Diplomatic” passport hoping someone would think I mattered. They didn’t. But luckily we literally ran out of time and they realized that in order to look into the cat issue, we’d miss our flight, so they found me a seat and we were all finally heading home. Lufthansa is my new favorite airline.

We arrived in Cairo, got our bags, had no trouble bringing in the smuggled mascara and nail polish, nor the 15 pounds of vegetarian “bologna,” and headed to the apartment. Once there, we re-introduced Clifford and Max to Chuckles and Ricky and the new, temporary, kitten, Albert. Albert proceeded to hiss a lot at the new oranges, but Chuckles and Ricky were merely like, “Hey, welcome home.”

I had done a lot of thinking on the flight home. I was still reveling from the amazing dinner the night before. During my time in Cairo I’ve had bouts of feeling homesick or missing people, but not much. I’ve been busy settling in, figuring things out, braving the traffic, and I rely heavily on emails and phone calls. But being in that room with these phenomenal women who I have known for the last five to twenty years, really made me realize how much I desperately miss their companionship. And also made me realize how amazingly thankful I am for their friendships. I truly wouldn’t be who or where I am today without them. Their influence on me and my life is irreplaceable and permanent and I am so grateful for each and every one of them.

I’ve met some really nice people here in Cairo, and some may turn out to be lifelong friends, but these women around that dinner table have listened to my fears and frustrations, held my hand when I thought my heart was forever broken, told me I’m crazy when I’m crazy, encouraged and supported me when I needed it, taught me life, cooking and dating skills, and most importantly stood with me when I found the love of my life. So, learning from Uncle Harold and not wanting to wait, I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you for everything and I love you.

Sad News

On a sad note, I will be flying to Wales tomorrow for my Uncle Harold’s funeral. He’s technically my mother’s uncle, hence my Great Uncle, but he was never one for titles. We will miss him terribly, but I’m grateful I was able to see him in September. He was only 86, but this past year in particular was very hard on him so I can at least find solace in his peace now. Dealing with his deteriorating health has forced me to realize that despite our advanced-ways and medical achievements and all, dying slowly in the Western world is not a pretty or comfortable picture. I won’t get into a potential rant here, that’s what Ron is for, but seeing a dear loved one suffer is heartbreaking beyond belief. I love you Uncle Harold and will miss you greatly.